This is how I've felt recently. I just want to relax and savor and dwell in the moments as much as I can. I will not miss whole years, or even days of my children's lives because I am too distracted or busy to really see or hear them. They amaze and delight me. They are independent and able one second, and cuddly and vulnerable the next. They are growing up every day, and every day they need me just as much as they did the day they were born. I want to teach them so many things, and I am left speechless at how much I don't know. I want to protect them, and I want them to be brave. I want to guide them and steer them, and I want them to be equipped to be and do whatever they want to. I want them to know Heavenly Father loves them. I want them to know that their father and I love them. I want them to talk to me, to tell me their fears and hopes and dreams as much 10 years from now as they do now. I feel like they are already slipping away from me, and I only just got them.

I love fall. I love the colors. I love the crisp, clear air. I love wearing sweaters. I love cuddling in bed in the morning an extra minute or two, feeling the cold on my cheeks and being just barely warm enough under the blankets, with all of my favorite bodies, big and little, vying for space next to me. I love the funky layered costumes Mademoiselle dresses in every day because weather is as good an excuse as any. I love the smells of cinnamon and pumpkin and apples and squash and oatmeal cooking in various concoctions. I love the approach of the holiday season, the tricky little plans that start taking shape in my mind, and the anticipation of seeing family and friends I love and miss so much.

I just LOVE fall!

Good things happen when I say yes.

A midday picnic, with a taste of an unripe apple plucked from our tree as an appetizer? Yes!

An impromptu game of charades, and hearing the guess "tayasu tajacu"? Yes!

Reading/singing The Wheels on the Bus 11 times? Then singing many original verses of If You're Happy and You Know It? (pick your nose!)Yes!

Seeing the cats and the hens eating dog food, the goats eating chicken food, and the dogs running off on an adventure? Yes!

Making up a unique Irish jig while listening to the Chieftains? Yes!

Catching up with the housework after dinner instead of keeping up with it all day? Yes.

To our

SWEET

SMILEY

TOUGH

LOVING

BABBLING
HUNGRY

GIGGLY
DROOLING
CUDDLY

HAPPY

RESILIENT

MESSY

CURIOUS

KISSY

ONE-YEAR-OLD

BOY,

I couldn't adore you more.

You bring nothing but joy and laughter to our family every day.

You make me feel like I can be an amazing mom when you smile at me even when I'm not acting like an amazing mom.

Before and After

We had a pond. How many people can say they have a pond in their yard? It was so much fun.

Now when we drive by there is no water, no ducks, no Blue Heron, no chance to go fishing, no kayaks, none of it.

The pond is being dug out, then it will be treated with a sealant, and then refilled. It will be done after we move.

We miss it already!

I came outside to see Mademoiselle just like this.

She cleaned up the yard.

She swept the sidewalk.

She decorated it with sidewalk chalk pictures.

All by herself.

All for the love of her daddy, who was coming home soon.

photo via flickr user houseofduke

In my wanderings, I came across this little girl.

Isn't she darling?

Is it strange that I want her dress and her haircut?

I was looking at pictures of dollhouses.

I would love for us to own a real dollhouse before Mademoiselle is too old to enjoy it. But then I realize I'm not too old to enjoy it, so maybe there is no rush.

Have you ever felt like this?

Daddy and Mademoiselle

The first time Tyler took Mademoiselle fishing was when she was two.

They've fished in 5 states, in over a dozen spots.

They still love going fishing together every chance they get.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

In the 8 years since we were sealed together for time and all eternity, you have been a student, a haul truck driver, a table busser, a limo driver, a snake catcher, a brick layer, a waiter, a used car salesman, a lab worker, a peace officer, and more.

I am so grateful you have worked so hard to support our little family.

I am so grateful that your hard work has consistently allowed me to be here at home for our children every day of their lives.

I am so grateful that you are now willing to do the hard and scary thing of going back to school, leaving your enjoyable job because your new path will be better for all of us in the long run.

But I am most grateful of all that you have been a wonderful, loving husband, and an amazing, fun, caring, involved, thoughtful, exciting, doting, attentive Dad.

Thank you

for being sealed to me.

Thank you

for laying that foundation for a strong family.

Thank you

for building upon that foundation everday

with

LOVE

EFFORT

DEDICATION

SACRIFICE

FAITH

LOYALTY

DETERMINATION

PRAYER

and

GENEROSITY.

I LOVE YOU!

Mademoiselle has been homeschooling for 3 weeks.

So far, Mademoiselle has gotten to build symmetrical buildings, draw a map of our yard and house, cook dinner with me and measure ingredients, send letters to her cousins, sort some fun buttons and graph how many of each there were, then make a necklace out of them, play mailman, read a lot of books, help with taking care of the animals, make a dollhouse out of a cardboard box, play dress up in lots of different costumes, learn about a few different kids in Russia, the Phillipines, and China and what they do everyday, and more.

That's her school.

The Story

of The Boy

and The Farm

a barn and a tractor

and a tractor

and a tractor

and a tractor

and bare feet

Diary of a Birthday

part deux

Mademoiselle wanted to decorate her own cake. She colored the frosting, piped it on in fancy flowers and dots, and then topped her cake with colored mini-kisses.

It's a Mademoiselle birthday tradition to have a bit of a dance party. She loves to play freeze dance. I think she won.

Bono made a surprise guest appearance.

Happy Birthday to You

Happy Birthday to You

Happy Birthday, Dear Mademoise-elle

Happy Birthday to You!

Mmmm...candle wax.

Present time!

Look at the surprised glee on that face!

Mademoiselle, I cannot believe it's been 6 years since you were born. I love you so much - you're my girl! I'm so glad you are in our little family and I get to share every day with you!

Thanks for letting me be your mom!

Diary of a Birthday

Mademoiselle turns 6!

part 1

Wake up and eat some flower-shaped pancakesfor breakfast, with some Rascal sausageon the side. During breakfast, the two oldestcousins come by for a quick visit.

Hanging out with the cousins.

It's so hard to say goodbye.

What should we do now? Leave it to Mademoiselle - dressing up always lifts the spirits.

And how about a few rounds of "Birdies hatching from eggs in the nest that is really a bunch of blankets in a circle, then squacking until mama bird brings us worms that are really socks that she has to somehow carry in her mouth without gagging and put in our hungry beaks, and then learning to fly as we jump from the couch and flail our arms and run in circles around the house until we are all good and tired."

You might think that'd be birthday celebration enough for anyone.

You'd be wrong.

Cousins Week : Day 6

two for the price of one, today only.

These angel eyes belong to Nev, 3. Nev's has got himself a sharp little mind. He's also a big brot

her, a

great talker, anda "Backyardigans" devotee.

This is Nev's little brother, No, whose eyes are just as blue He just turned 1. He's following in his brothers tiny footsteps and is learning to talk really quickly. I also hear that he loves eggplant.

And in another little family...

Say "hi" to LNR, 1 1/2, and chances are she'll answer you with a few of her over 300 words. LNR has traveled far in her short year(-s); her latest expedition was to Alaska to meet some grizzlies.

LNR will have a little sister this month, LXNR. Yet another adventurous and photogenic child - what ever will we do?

And a bonus, too!

We can't leave out yet another bundle of joy who is due to arrive this coming Spring. The soon-to-be Mom and Dad are thrilled to start down the road of parenthood for the very first time! Congratulations to you!

(please forgive the format problems...blogger issue!)