Sources say a rumor began circulating last week that Tyler ______, beloved husband, father of three, and former commissioned officer with _____________ Department had agreed to resume his post with afore mentioned department. This morning that rumor has been confirmed. We are pleased to report that he will once again work to rid the world of evil and injustice beginning Nov. 29th, 2008. His location at that time is yet to be determined. His family looks forward to learning just where it is they will be living in a few short weeks' time.
And in related news, onlookers were amazed as two children were found to be able to contort their faces, their bodies, and the very laws of physics as they celebrated their parents' very great reduction in stress.