In a strange twist of fate and scheduling and fun summer activities, I wound up at home, just me and my baby, for hours. Not only that, but by another twist, I had very little I had to do, and thanks to my recent bout of apathy, I made the least of my time.
I found myself lying on the grass, breathing deeply, feeling the sun on my skin and watching the light dance through the leaves above. Lewis kept busy at his job in the mines, while I lazed happily and dreamily.
Oh, to just be. It felt so good.
My mind wandered, and as it did, my heart swelled with the happy thoughts of my many blessings. My baby, and his surprising blonde, curly hair and bright blue eyes, who I get to share my days with. My hardworking, creative, fun husband. My daughter and her vivid life experiences. My oldest son and his busy, busy mind. My second son and his true courage. My third son and his absolute mastery of life.
I love this life of mine.
It's hard. Oh my goodness is it hard. Heartbreaking. Confusing. Discouraging at times. But so deeply beautiful.
The light and shadow of it all, the good and the bad - I couldn't live through one without the other.